Christmas has come and gone, once again. It always seems to be looming then hits fast and goes by so quickly. It was different having the distraction of going to my grandpa's memorial service. It still seems so odd to think that he is gone. Grandma was able to make it to the service, but didn't come home until Christmas Eve. It seemed like there was one distraction after another. Feels like Christmas didn't happen, except I still have a Christmas tree in my living room.


It snowed all day on Christmas Eve. Hannah and I decided to take a 3 mile walk in the falling snow. It turned out to be very very cold, windy, and wet. But, it was good for the memories I think.

By the night time we had about 3 inches and were able to play!! My sisters and brother had an impromptu snowball fight which was really fun. Then I built a snowman along with John. We named him Wall-E, because we both thought he resembled Wall-E from the movie.

We took a trip to the country for not even 2 days to celebrate Christmas with my Mom's family. There were about 60ish people in total. The laughter, food, reminiscing, ect made for a good trip. I got out before the sickness hit, but was sad to have a short stay on the farm. I had a really good time connecting with family I see once or twice a year. One day a group of cousins went spinning...we have some good stories as a result. I always look forward to visits with the family.

I had a very exciting New Year's. I worked the Eve, in bed by 8:30, worked the New Year day. 2010 was a hard year for me spiritually and emotionally, but I'm looking forward to 2011. A year ago I felt very desperate, empty, lonely. I came to a breaking point that took months and months to have courage do anything, though I'm still quite cowardly in the whole process. I am not sure what direction I'm going right now. I still feel the desperation, loneliness, emptiness except I have a little bit of hope to get to the other side and the freedom it will bring.