Last night I went to bed at 7pm, woke up at 5am. That's 10 hours of much needed sleep. Went into work only to see I wasn't on the schedule and I wasn't needed. Did I want to float, or did I want to go home. HOME! So, I walked out. That was the first time I have ever had the choice, so I took it. Will I regret it, maybe, when I get my paycheck, yes. I went to bed feeling not so great, rather depressed, woke up feeling about the same way. On days like that the last thing I want to do is work, even if it gives me something to do or takes my mind off things. The day tends to go south anyways.

Today I will take down all my Christmas decorations. Very sad. The tree has bugs anyways, and I need to get that thing outta here. I also am going to make a budget. Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University helped me get rid of all of my debt the past 2 years. Yet, once that was out of the way, my budget kind of went to pieces and I haven't been doing very well at it. 2011 is the year of the budget. I really want to save all I can this year, that is one of my goal's going into the new year. I want to be financially secure, you never know what is gonna happen.

Among other goals I want to run a marathon this year. After completing my half marathon a month ago, I know I can do an entire one! I have a couple of races lined up already, a half marathon and 15K in March, maybe another half in April. But I haven't decided on the marathon. There are a few back home that look appealing to me that happen in October and November.

I look forward to 2011. I am praying for a year of healing. I began the process back in October, seeking guidance in counseling. This season of my life is so so difficult. It has been for several years. I don't understand the why's or reasons behind what we go through. Except there is hope, there is grace, there will be healing. I will always carry the scars as remembrance, but I won't always carry the burden.