In Christ Alone

I love this song. At the past 2 memorial services I have attended we have sung this song. I think I want it sung at my wedding and my funeral. Since those services I am reminded of those individuals when I sing it and the hope I have in Christ. This world is so full of sin and burdens that I feel greatly more every day.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Its been awhile. The past few weeks have been 3 trips back home to see my family. The last trip was last minute to go to a funeral for a family friend who passed away. I drove home for an overnight and went back to work the next day. Big mistake. I was so tired and drained emotionally that I felt like a walking shell. Work was really tough that day, trying to be in the moment and take care of people, all the while my mind somewhere else entirely.

In the past several years my eyes have been opened up to the pain around me. I have known more people who have passed away than before. People without jobs, losing babies, living in dissappointment. Did it used to be like that the same way it is now? Or maybe I did not notice it. I loved my childhood and growing up years, but I feel I was given a false sense of what life should be versus what it really is. I don't know if that was set up for me, or if I set it up for myself.

In other good news, my sister found a job and has scheduled her nursing license exam! Hooray! I remember that day as being the worst day of my life thus far. How I passed my test, I know not. Congrats, Nat!

I recently saw 500 Days of Summer. It was a good movie, not the movie I was expecting, but good. I related to the guy in the movie, especially with expectations versus reality. My expectations are more commonly opposite or far from reality.
I enjoyed this sequence especially. How many times have I wanted to go out my door dancing down the street??

This Side of Heaven

I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid to my dear friend, Miranda. She joined her now husband, David, in marriage yesterday afternoon. I am so blessed to have Miranda's friendship and see how God has brought her and David together. Of course I had friends in college, but Miranda was one of the first girls to reach out and pursue friendship with me. And it is ironic because I did not like her at first, I was jealous of how easily she fit into the group of people I had been in, but still feeling out of place. We laugh about it now because we can.

One of my favorite moments of the weekend was our prayer before the wedding. The girls gathered around Miranda to bless the ceremony and the night. It was truly a sweet moment. Watching David's face as he said his vows to Miranda was also great. To be witness to their public commitment was so encouraging to my heart. The redemption theme throughout our lives in big and subtle ways brings me to my knees. Sweet reminders on this side of heaven giving glimpses of one day when the Bridegroom comes for His bride.

What a great weekend of celebration that came to a bittersweet ending. I didn't want the night to end because they are heading to Texas after their honeymoon. I am so happy for their new life together, a new job, direction. So hard to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.

Tea Time for Bridal Party

Sweet friends having sweet last moments

Bridal beauty

Bestest there for me at all times

In efforts to be healthier, or more conscious of being healthier, I have purchased a pedometer. At work yesterday I took about 8,000 steps which equals roughly to 4miles. And that wasn't even a busy day. Nurses are on their feet all the time! The pedometer does make me walk more, just to see how many steps I can take each day.

Next weekend is Miranda's wedding and there is lots to do in readiness for it. Lingerie to buy, getting a haircut, buying shoes & jewelry, finding a 1920's outfit for bachorelette party, possible manicure because my nails are horrendous. We have the bachorelette party, bridal tea, rehearsal dinner, hair and makeup, and then the big event!! So excited for Miranda & David to finally be married and start their life together. However, this weekend coming brings an end to them living in the area and they move to Texas right after the honeymoon. I will not see them until a visit in the future, which saddens me a great deal. Change is good, but so hard.

This past weekend consisted of great fellowship with friends. Saturday morning was at the pool with old roomies & friends and onto the afternoon. Sunday I enjoyed seeing how big my little friend, Owen, has grown!! It was so great to see Ande & Kelly after their 2 months in Ireland and hear their stories about their experience. After a hair and makeup trial with Miranda, we both enjoyed seeing Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince. So good a second time around. I wish every weekend consisted of such things.

So, my sister's test came back good. No problem with a tumor, swelling, anything. So glad! I went through all possibilities; my imagination runs rampant sometimes. It is too active! It looks to be a mechanical issue with her eye muscle being weak. And that requires a surgery, but nothing like a brain surgery.

I am holding out for my job in October. It is what gets me through every day at work. I enjoy the job I have, I feel like I'm not making that much of a difference one way or the other. ICU freaks the living daylights out of me. Last week I had a "moment of weakness" or a freakout session about changing jobs. I had many of those as I was finishing school. They went along the lines of am I really cut out for nursing?? I want to change, but it scares the heck out of me most days. Summer is winding down, and ICU is the next thing to look forward to after Miranda's wedding in 2 weeks. Then life will be crazy for a little bit, but looking forward to the change.

I take things too personally. Last week I had a family member (of a patient) scream at me, yes scream (and I feared for my physical safety). Today I had another aggravated individual argue a little with me. I am such a people pleaser. Just like me! Needless to say it always shakes me up a little when that happens. I need to grow some thicker skin and fast too.

I freaking hate sin and the broken down-ness of the world. It seems like so much junk is going on lately. A family friend in serious condition in ICU after having a cardiac arrest from choking on food. Choking on food!! We do that every day, why now? Please pray for Pete as his condition seems to not look so good. He has a wife and 3 young kiddos too.
My sister having double vision and cranial nerve palsy to who knows what, maybe a tumor? Watching people lose loved ones slowly to ugly diseases like cancer. Sending a patient off into surgery, knowing they will not make it through, but giving them your bravest smile and hand sqeeze as you send them off. Desires not being met, falling short...among other things.

When did the sin of the world seem to weigh so heavily?