Building Frustration

I have spent the last 6 hours of my life or so applying to different nursing jobs, some local, some not! I have decided to venture too towards the OR. I have wanted to do OR nursing in the past, but hesitated after being told to become a "real" nurse first. (Hope I don't offend anyone out there!) Well, my first job was around surgery. Second job, kind of a bomb, didn't fit right, didn't feel like I was in my element. So, I think to myself, why did I not pursue OR nursing?? Because someone told me to try something different first. Hence, I didn't do what I wanted to do originally. So, here goes to applying to OR jobs. I applied to 3 different ones that didn't specify experience required, which makes me think that maybe just maybe they are willing to train?

I don't know. The more the length of my unemployment continues, added onto the fact that my previously agreed nursing education people would contact me and help me out are in fact NOT doing that, makes me doubt my whole nursing experience. Do I really want to continue on this career path? Or start doing something different. But, what would that different be? Seems more sensible to me do something I could get a job in, but having been burned a little bit, I am gun-shy. As well I have taken a blow to my self confidence and job performance.

Then there is the whole, do I trust God to lead me through this? I pray for a clear cut career path. Just open or close a door completely so I can see where to go, what to do. This all comes at a time when I am at the lowest of lows in my spiritual life. I feel like a child of Israel wandering in the desert.

I picked up the Bible for the first time in several weeks/months. Here's what I opened up to:

He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" Job 1:10

Wow, what a dagger to my heart, because I so do not want to believe that verse.